Shital adopted Serena in 2018 and Sara came to her life in 2023. An actress, director and entrepreneur, Shital feels the concept of parenthood in our society is changing now and people are warming up to the idea of having a family based on love and organic connection rather than just birth and DNA
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Deepika Sahu
Shital Shah, actress, director, and entrepreneur, is relishing her life right now. This 37-year-old single mother can’t stop talking about her younger daughter Sara (nine months old now), whom she adopted in 2023. Earlier, Shital had adopted her older daughter Serena in 2018. Shital is having her time under the sun and enjoying this beautiful phase of her life with her two daughters.
Talking about her experience, Shital, who has directed Gujarati films like HuTuTu: Aavi Ramat Ni Rutu, Duniyadari and Saatam Atham and acted in Hindi TV shows like Arjun and Bollywood films like My Friend Ganesha, says: “I was always very sure about adopting girls. I feel families are shrinking now. My grandparents had eight siblings, my parents had four and I have a sister. I have experienced the joy of having a sibling. I wanted to give that experience to my daughters. But I must say the process has been very organic. I adopted Serena in 2018 and Sara came to my life in 2023.”
How has been the experience this time? Is it easier for her to navigate now? Shital says: “It’s definitely different now. When I had adopted Serena, I did not have the knowledge about how to manage a two-month-old baby. Right now, I can manage things because I have the experience and that makes a huge difference.”
She adds: “The adoption process of Sara was much easier and smoother. A lot of credit goes to the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA). The whole process is done online. It is the choice of building a family through this agency that really works well.”
Shital loves being a witness to the sibling bond between her daughters. “Serena is my biggest strength. She takes her role of being a big sister seriously. She is very attentive and loves Sara.”
Did she ever feel the pressure of doing it as a single woman? Shital shares: “I feel, families are much more than sharing DNA. Adoption is a beautiful way to have a family. In my mind, I never had any links between marriage and having a child. I went ahead with my decision to adopt when I was financially and emotionally ready for it.”
How has motherhood changed her as a person? How does she deal with the changes in her lifestyle too? Shital says: “Last five years have been very fulfilling. Prior to motherhood, I was a single girl and I always took spontaneous decisions to go out. Now, I plan my schedule keeping my daughters’ needs in mind. I really don’t miss going out. I have grown ten years younger just by being with my daughters. I dance at the drop of a hat. I now see many things through the eyes of my daughters. Like before, on many occasions, I did not notice the roses in our garden but now I discover the wonders of the garden with my kids. I have become more aware of myself. Adopting my daughters has changed the goal post of my life.”
She adds: “I am living more in the present. I used to think a lot about the past and future. My daughters have taught me to live in the moment.”
How hard is it for her to manage as a single mother? “Well, as a single mom, I am 100% responsible for bringing up my children. When you are a couple, bringing up children is a different process. In many households, child rearing is divided between both the husband and wife. That support is invaluable. Yes, it’s true that sometimes I miss that kind of support but I feel this journey is worthwhile. When you are both a primary and secondary care-giver, it can be daunting sometimes. But I am really enjoying this process of growing up with my daughters. My mother Hina Shah and my sister Shaina Shah have always given me rock-solid support.”
She adds: “I am happy that my daughters have chosen me. I firmly believe that I am far more blessed that they have chosen me. When you come from a space of deep love, there’s an element to the purity of connection. When 3.5- month-old Sara looked at me for the first time, she gave me a big toothless grin. And that smile filled my heart with joy and love.”
How has motherhood helped you to evolve as an artiste? Shital thinks it has. She says: “I have always been a sensitive person. Earlier, when I would hear a child crying and throwing tantrums, I would think what are the parents doing. But now I know. Every child is unique and we can’t put them in one box. That understanding has helped me evolve as an artiste. It has given me a sense of experiencing life in its purest form.”
Shital feels the concept of parenthood in our society is changing now and people are warming up to the idea of having a family based on love and organic connection rather than just birth and DNA. “Many of my friends are now exploring the option of adoption. However, still, so many people keep on telling me that it is so courageous of me to adopt two girls. But I don’t see it as an act of courage. It is all about love and acceptance only.”
Image credit: Shital Shah
Deepika Sahu has been a journalist for 28 years and she has worked with some of India’s leading media houses. Right now, she is independently engaged in content creation and curation.
The Good Story Project 