Tag: Couple

An Unusual Love Story

It is always astonishing how love can strike. It happened in the case of Vinay Jaiswal and Pooja Choudhary. The two got married in 2012, but mutually and amicably separated in 2018 as they felt they couldn’t connect. Their hearts, however, remained connected even after the separation. So, when Vinay suffered a heart attack in August last year, his ex-wife came running to take care of him. Then something unusual happened.

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Swati Subhedar

It sometimes feels as if someone sitting up there has already written the script of our lives—from start to finish. It’s sacrosanct; we can’t change or rewrite it. We only get to read this script in episodes—some pleasant, some unpleasant—yet we move on from one episode to the other, mechanically, as if that is the only way. But sometimes, some episodes shake our very core, and we are forced to take a pause to reflect, realign and restart.

On August 20 last year, Delhi-based Vinay Jaiswal went to the local market to run errands. A local shopkeeper was selling USB cables at a discounted rate. Vinay did not need one but bought one nevertheless and asked the shopkeeper if he would take it back in case it did not function properly. Petty things we bargain for, not knowing what tragedies await us.

The next day, Vinay’s heart malfunctioned. He suffered a cardiac arrest. An Angiogram revealed 97% blockage. Open-heart surgery followed. The health scare came as a rude shock for Vinay who always thought he was doing everything to be fit and healthy. The first step was acceptance and the next was recuperation. But he wasn’t alone. Pooja Choudhary stood by him, like a rock.

To know who Pooja is, we will have to flip back a few chapters.

Vinay and Pooja got married in 2012. Pooja hails from Patna, but because of her father’s transferable job, she lived in many cities all over the country. Vinay, on the other hand, spent most of his life in Jaunpur and Prayagraj, Uttar Pradesh. He was working with a central public sector undertaking in Delhi when he sent a profile request to Pooja on a matrimonial site. The two families met, and the two got married soon after. In hindsight, it was a mistake.  

“After our wedding, when I came to Ghaziabad to live with Vinay, there was friction right from the beginning. We realised we came from two entirely different cultures and backgrounds, and we had nothing in common other than our caste. While we were always respectful towards each other, we realised very early on that probably we were not made for each other and decided to part ways amicably in 2013 after doing everything that we could do to save the marriage,” recalls Pooja.

In 2018, the day of the divorce was an emotional roller coaster for Pooja. She decided she would not sign the divorce papers, in case Vinay stepped back. There was no explanation for this feeling, she says. But it was not to be. It was destined to happen. The same night, the two had dinner together, and respectfully said goodbye to each other. They kept in touch, on and off, over the phone.

Until August 2023.

There was no response from Vinay for a few days. When Pooja learnt about his cardiac arrest and surgery, she came running to Ghaziabad. Vinay was in the ICU. When she saw him lying there, their eyes met, and their stars realigned.

For the next two months, Pooja took care of Vinay. Despite the bitter experience of the past, there was no malice. A strong emotional bond developed and they two decided to give each other one more chance.

In November 2023, five years after their divorce and two months after they reconnected, they decided to get married.

What changed?

“I would not call this our second innings. Yes, there was a formal pause, but what we feel for each other now, this feeling of love was probably there before also. But we gave more prominence to petty issues when we should have spent time trying to understand each other. We had to spend 11 years apart to realise this, and to bring us closer, death had to come knocking to give a new lease of life to our relationship,” says Vinay.

In all these years Vinay learnt the actual meaning of love—to be emotionally attached to each other, trust one another and support each other in every situation. It takes years for a strong bond to develop, and it can only happen if love is given an opportunity to flourish constantly. “Often, we understand the true meaning of love only after a loved one leaves. It should never come to this stage,” he says.    

Based on his past experience, Vinay feels one should think a thousand times before falling in love, committing to someone or getting married, especially in today’s time and age when there are multiple platforms like dating apps and social media that help people to connect. “When you commit to someone, your entire life is at stake. Therefore, it makes sense to take things slowly, befriend one another, let true love blossom on its own, and then go to the next stage. Yes, things have changed, and old definitions of love and relationships do not apply now, but the bottom line has remained the same—your companion should be your only constant. Hence choose wisely. There is no substitute for genuine love,” he says.

Communication gap kills relationships. “Even after we separated, we kept in touch and talked to each other. This probably is the reason why our hearts remained connected. Present-day technology and several other distractions are often blamed for emotional detachment among couples. These are beautiful mediums and if we learn to use them effectively, technology can actually bring couples closer,” says Vinay.

Today, when more and more marriages are getting entangled in the web of separations and divorces, Vinay feels people, especially youngsters, are losing faith in the institution of marriage. While one must walk out of claustrophobic, emotionally damaging and unsafe wedlocks, marriages can be saved if they are standing firm on the strong foundation of love. “A marriage is a work in progress. Married couples must constantly keep nourishing their love to retain its freshness,” he says.

A lesson both Vinay and Pooja learnt the hard way.   

But when the two decided to get married again in November 2023, their families were relieved and ecstatic. “Though we gave short notice, all those who love us and care about us came. This time, there was no pomp or show. It was a simple wedding. And it made us wonder why we spent so much money the first time. Instead of splurging on unnecessary things, we should have invested quality time in knowing and understanding each other instead,” says Vinay.  

When they decided to get married, they didn’t realise they would end up becoming an endearing media story. While the lawyer who nullified their divorce decree told them that it was the first time in his career that he was seeing a couple remarrying years after divorce, the two were very casual about it. It was only after they posted their story on their respective Facebook pages, that they turned into a viral media story. Many publications, TV channels and websites got in touch with them so that they could tell their unusual love story to the world.  

“Initially, we were hesitant to put our lives out there, but once we realised that our story might act as oxygen and help other relationships on death bed, we went ahead. We will be delighted if through our story we are able to save a relationship, help broken hearts to mend or couples to reunite. “For us, that is more important than our story going viral,” says Vinay.  

Also read: Meet single mom Shital Shah and her two adopted daughters

Dignified Farewell

Bhubaneshwar-based Pradeep and Madhusmita Prusty are an extraordinary couple. On most days, their day begins and ends at the local cremation ground. To perform the last rites of unclaimed bodies is the mission of their lives. Be it the recent triple train tragedy at Balasore in Odisha, the Covid-19 pandemic or even during perfectly normal times, the Prustys have been doing their bit for society. Selflessly. This is their story.

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Deepika Sahu

On a typical day, Bhubaneshwar-based Pradeep and Madhusmita Prusty get a couple of phone calls from local police stations. It is their call for duty. After making all the necessary arrangements for funerals, they rush to the local crematorium to perform the last rites of unclaimed bodies. To give a dignified farewell to people who don’t have families to do the needful is the mission of their lives. Their story is about courage and grit.    

Be it the recent triple train tragedy at Balasore in Odisha on June 2, which, as per the official figures, claimed the lives of 291 people, the many waves of the Covid-19 pandemic and even during perfectly normal times, the Prustys have been doing their bit for society. Selflessly.  

Prusty, 48, was always interested in social work. “My younger sister and I studied in the old city of Bhubaneswar. Our school was near a hospital and we used to go to a shop near the hospital to buy chocolates. We used to interact with the relatives of the patients.” That probably was the beginning of the journey.

The turning point came in the year 1980 when Prusty was just five. His mother died by suicide on a railway track and the family had no information about her for four-five days. That was one of the most traumatic experiences of his life. “It was then that I decided to give a dignified farewell to people in the event of death,” says Prusty, who has earned his living in his adult years by doing many odd jobs like working as a construction worker and selling vegetables.  

The circumstances of the death of his mother and the trauma associated with it never really left him. That also made him realise the importance of the task he has undertaken. In 2014, he started the Pradeep Seva Trust along with 11 of his friends as trustees. He was 39 years old at that time and since then there has been no looking back for him as service has become the core of his life. 

Between 2014 and 2016, Prusty drove an auto. He used the same auto to take unclaimed bodies to the crematorium. In 2017, he decided to get a van as it was becoming too difficult to carry the bodies in an auto. Finally, in 2020, the trust members contributed some money and he got a bank loan to buy an ambulance. “I have to pay the EMI for one more year,” he says.

Sharing his experience of working during the recent train tragedy (June 2, 2023) in Odisha, Prusty says: “We went to the tragedy site the next morning. It was a tough experience because of the massive scale of the tragedy. It was very hard on our team members too. After that, we did volunteer work at Cuttack. We also helped in the post-mortem cases at hospitals as the pressure was too much.”

The volunteers at the Trust swing into action the moment they get a phone call from the police station. “We chip in whenever someone calls up for help. In our society, there is so much wealth disparity. For people from less privileged backgrounds, it is always a struggle to arrange a funeral. In that case, we come forward to help with wood and other support,” he says. 

Prusty feels that his work would not have been possible without the active participation of his wife, Madhusmita, 38.“Once while picking up a dead body from the railway track, my leg got fractured. I could not work and it was a tough time for me. Seeing my situation, my wife came forward to help me. It was incredible that a woman came forward to do this. I can’t thank her enough for her courage and sense of service,” he says.

She was working in Chennai as a nurse and was paid well. But in 2019, she quit her job to join the Pradeep Seva Trust. How difficult was it? Was she scared? “Birth and death are the only truths of life. How can I be scared of the truth? Initially, it was tough but it has been a life-altering experience; especially during the Covid-19 pandemic, when family members shunned their loved ones, I came forward to do their last rites. There were many who did not even want to come anywhere near their departed family members,” she shares.

To give the dead a warm farewell in the midst of a raging pandemic was a soul-elevating experience for her. “I have received lots of awards and recognition but nothing is close to this feeling of being there for another human being even though it’s at the end of the journey,” she says.

It’s not easy for a woman to be engaged in this work. How has been the reaction of people around her? She laughs and says: “There are some people who still come to my house for some work or the other but they won’t have water in my house. Recently, an educated person came to my house and asked me, ‘Are there ghosts in your house?’ And then there are people who ask me what’s the need for me to do this work when I come from a decent background?”

The couple has sacrificed everything for this work. 

“There are times when I have to leave family gatherings and functions because there is a need to rush to work. However, I have absolutely no regrets. Right now, we have an all- women’s team comprising five members. They are doing incredible work and it is deeply satisfying and liberating to see them work,” says Madhusmita, a mother of two—a son and a daughter.

Sharing her greatest learning, she says: “Death does not distinguish between the rich and the poor. I believe in the dignity of life and more importantly, I believe everyone deserves a farewell at the end of the journey.”   

Technology has been of great help in their work. They are happy and proud that even though they have not received any assistance from the government, the trust members and their friends and acquaintances have always come forward to support them monetarily whenever they are in dire need. They just share a message on WhatApp and people come forward to help according to their ability. But, at the same time, because of limited monetary resources, they face a lot of constraints. They need more stretchers and gloves so that the work process becomes smoother.

How do they see the future? “We will keep on giving our services whenever there’s a need. When a person has nobody, we come forward to stand with that person … even if we are talking about death here. We become the family member of that dead person in the absence of the family. We have only love and a sense of service in our heart,” says Pradeep.

Deepika Sahu has been a journalist for 28 years. She has worked with some of India’s leading media houses like the Press Trust of India, Deccan Herald and The Times of India. Right now, she is independently engaged in content creation and curation.

Twitter: @menondeepika, Instagram: @moodydeepika Facebook: Deepika Sahu